It’s one thing to feel under pressure, unhappy, stressed, sad, or angry, but it’s another to listen to someone complain all of the time about it. Nothing is worse than a Negative Nancy, folks.
As discussed in I Wish I Could Help, it is really hard to see a loved one who is hurt. I wish that there was some way that I could remind them of how special they are to me and how much they matter. This is a list of ways to stay positive about life. You have my full permission to pull these out of your pocket the next time a friend comes to you feeling down, or maybe even use them for yourself.
1. Wake up in the morning and completely disregard every single negative thought that first comes to mind.
I know this is a hard one to do, especially when if the night before, you fell asleep mulling over all of the important details as to why you are incredibly miserable and you just want to die. I get it. But it’s amazing how much the morning can affect the rest of your day! Ever wake up from a dream and it influenced the whole day? Well, this is just like that. So, instead of laying in bed for 30 minutes with your eyes open, staring at the ceiling, check out the latest and greatest Vines to make you laugh. Or maybe text an old friend and make a point to catch up with them soon! Either way, don’t start your day sulking out of bed. Get up and get to brushing your teeth. Make yourself presentable.
2. Give yourself a pep talk.
I don’t necessarily mean to shout out loud “WE CAN DO IT!!” into the mirror, but I tend to find that if I just stop what I am doing and talk out loud (or sometimes, just in thought) about my problems and how I am going to manage throughout the day, I feel a lot better. Talking to yourself aloud is almost like venting to a friend, except instead of hearing what you want to hear, you are speaking the truth and what is really hurting inside. Make sure to try to leave the thought resolved, if possible. Do this before you start the day.
3. Dress to impress.
Imagine walking into your worst enemy, and they know that you are going through a rough patch. You wouldn’t want to look like a rough patch in front of them, now would you? So, dress up! Make yourself feel good about your appearance. A little boost of confidence does wonders for the hurting heart, and somewhat, makes you feel like you can face anything (literally).
4. Do at least 1-2 pleasant things for yourself in a day.
Take a long walk through a beautiful park, read a book, play guitar, eat a candy bar, meet an old friend, watch a movie, drink coffee, play video games, etc. Even though these are temporary fixes, it is important to distract yourself for a little while from the problems. I’m not saying to completely ignore the problems and hide your feelings, but maybe these little activities will relieve that stress headache or subside that lump in your throat.
5. If the problem comes up in the day, act like it isn’t the end of the world.
This is where all of your acting skills come to play. Teenage girls truly do think it’s the end of the world when their dad says that can’t stay out later than 11 pm on a Friday night because they act like the world is ending. If they would have respectfully agreed to the curfew and realized that in a couple years, this won’t even matter, then I’m sure they wouldn’t be up in their rooms in tears thinking their social life is over for good. Catch my drift? Basically, realizing that things happen for a reason (even if they just totally and utterly suck) and that none of these problems will matter in a few years (or at least won’t feel as strong), will make you feel better, even if you just have to act like they will.
6. Simplify the problem.
As said above, most of your problems won’t even matter in a year from now. However, chewing on it for a long time and forgetting to swallow can escalate your feelings towards the problem, causing you to look at it and speculate it in 100 different directions and scenarios. If the problem has still been gnawing at you all day, break it down and simplify it. Try to come to the conclusion that things all happen for a reason and shape you into who you are and who you will become. Realize that you will become a better and wiser person because of these problems. You can do it!
7. Be determined to come home and do something for yourself that will further your success.
One of the best feelings is to set out to accomplish something for yourself and then complete it. Every day, I try to set a goal for myself to work on something in my spare time that I can feel good about accomplishing. Whether it be a creative project, a cleaning project, or even working on a long time goal, it is exciting to work on something. Imagine showing all of your haters what you’re capable of and how talented and smart you are. Sounds like a great confidence booster to me (just what you need).
8. Enjoy the little things.
I don’t mean to be redundant (as in repeating #4), but enjoy the time you spent laughing at something small with a stranger at the cash register, or enjoy the way the sunshine shines through the trees on the meadow in the evening. Life goes on.
9. Get advice.
Check out advice websites (like this one!). There are many out there! Youtube is a great way to find speakers who might be going through very similar problems. If you are a religious person, I recommend checking out Chat About Jesus where you can talk out problems of faith. If not, there are many other chat sites out there where you can talk with counselors and get advice.
10. Go to bed without negative thoughts on your mind.
Yes, just as hard as #1 is, it is important to do the same at the end of the day. It’s okay to think a little about your problems, as these are ways of coping and dealing with them, however, sleep is important. Sleep gives you strength to face the next day and to try to make the best out of it. Going to sleep with negative thoughts on your mind only creates a night full of nightmares and tossing/turning. Sometimes, involuntarily, you can have nightmares about problems going on in your life. Try to meditate with good thoughts and feelings, or wake up and get a glass of water and try to start the night over again.
Remember, life goes on. There is plenty of good in the world. You just have to try your best to focus on that, rather than the negative. I know it’s not easy to distract yourself from feeling hurt, but if you can at least achieve a little laugh or a smile throughout the day, you’ve already done yourself quite a lot of good.
Talk soon!
JR
Picture Credit
So, We Need to Talk. 